How do you ride out the storm of chaos? Anchor down and sit in discomfort Mama
Just survived my first official hurricane. Our home and neighborhood made it through relatively unscathed. We are truly blessed.
Not going to lie though, it was stressful. When you’re relatively new and you don’t have a large local network, plus the fact that you have NO experience with hurricanes… well, you can imagine our level of discomfort! (It was equal to Hurricane Ian at a CAT 4.)
I’m not so sure how well I would have handled this storm as an earlier version of myself. The ME five years ago would NOT have had the ability to sit in such a long period of discomfort. You know what would have happened then? I would have projected my fears. My kids would have been a disaster. Our anxieties would have fed off each other. And the energy in our home? It would have been a complete nightmare.
The good news is that’s not what happened. Our first hurricane left us nervous, yet calm. And everyone was accountable for their own emotional regulation. For the first time (during an actual crisis) I did not have to tend to the emotional well-being of my kids. I was not their coping mechanism. We’ve been working on emotional regulation for quite some time now and it shows. This is a huge transformation, given everything we've battled including Lyme disease, PANS, OCD and anxiety. The day Hurricane Ian came, we experienced a full day of discomfort, yet we felt safe. Holy hurricane…We have come a long way.
What happened?
I finally learned how to sit in my own discomfort, and it was about time. Learning how to sit in my own discomfort changed my life. It made me a happier person and had profound effects on my two kids. When I finally learned to sit in my own discomfort, I transformed into a different mom. I became more capable, more empowered and much calmer. The vibration in my home changed because I changed. My kids reflected back to me the energy of being capable and calm. It is impressive.
Here's the thing, I never learned this ability from my parents. I learned it through the journey of my children. When they were in real crisis (including OCD episodes, Lyme disease, PANS flares) I was so desperate to help them. Finally, our therapist told me that the thing I needed to do was to learn how to become a rock for my children and to ultimately get solid. Turns out, I was not a solid figure at all. I was unable to model self-regulation to my children because I did not know how to regulate myself. Guess what? It’s never too late to learn this. How did I do it?
I started becoming as neutral as possible to every given situation. I even recorded a podcast on the Power of Neutrality. I also visualized myself anchoring down and reminded myself to be solid, instead of fragile. I literally did ALL THE THINGS to get myself into a solid presence of neutrality including meditation, breath-work, and yoga. I tended to my nervous system through acupuncture, EMDR and tapping. And mostly I connected with God. You will be surprised how much clarity and answers you will get through prayer. He also brings me peace. I am grateful for having the ability to sit in my own discomfort. The practice allowed my family to ride out the storm in peace, as opposed to panic.
Are you living in a hurricane already?
I know there are moms out there who are living through emotional hurricanes every single day. You may have children with Lyme disease, tick-borne infections, PANS/PANDAS, twice exceptionalism or severe mental health issues. I see you. Storms keep coming one after another. My advice to you is this… Learn how to sit in discomfort. The time is Now. Invest in yourself. Have the awareness of when you are experiencing discomfort and know your triggers! Then ride out the storm with faith that you will be okay. Understand that you are safe. Be the eye of the hurricane for your family.
If you need help practicing the power of neutrality or sitting in discomfort, reach out to Liza. Liza provides ongoing support to moms who are in crisis through her Mentoring Support Groups and individual coaching.
Liza Blas is a speaker, mindset mentor and the host of the Very Happy Stories podcast. She brings hope, empowerment, and validation to moms raising kids with unique challenges. Liza delivers inspiring stories and shares her best practices through her podcast, speaking engagements, and personal transformational coaching.